Getting run over in the FASD Lane

It's been an interesting last 2 months, but October in particular.

I did a presentation at the local Tech college. Based on last year's attendance, I figured about 25 to 30 people would be there. There were 50. I was thrilled because it wasn't just the medical program students this time. It didn't go quite as I planned, but never ever does anyway. It DID go well though.

The most difficult time for me was this past weekend. My daughter (Thomas' birthmom) was here for the weekend. We were having a fundraiser for her to travel to Germany for 2-1/2 weeks, so she and I were busy. T. had his personal care worker here, along with "grandpa," so he we covered. Despite that, you could see he was visably stressed about her being here. I tried to tell myself it might have been because she didn't have her 2 kids here with her. I also tried to tell myself it was because I couldn't pay as much attention to him. It wasn't until after she was gone that I THINK I figured it out.

She didn't say ONE word to him the entire time she was here. Not even hello, or "My dtr is in Head Start too" or "What are you watching on TV?" All very safe subjects. But instead, she completely ignored him. I realized how absolutely RUDE that was. If she were in the home of any friend, and they had children, she more than likely would have at least acknowledged them. Forget that she's related by blood. Forget that she's legally his "big sister." He's a little person who lives in our house.

We will be setting down the rules of this house for her. We've decided that she absolutely MUST acknowledge him when she is here. I'll tell her this after she returns from Germany. She's too caught up in that to even care about anything else right now (and most people planning an international trip would be, so I don't fault her there).

I have several more issues to write about, that don't involve birthmom, but have no time today. Ironically, I'm attending a 2 day workshop about how substance abuse effects families.