This is my original post....I'm adding a bit at the end so you can see what happened...
This week has been interesting with regard to meltdowns and tantrums. We distinguish them from each other in that typically a tantrum is triggered by Thomas not getting something he wants. Any scratching, hitting, pinching, etc., is usually directed at OTHER people. This week it was me and our good friend, who is also Thomas' personal care worker.
Meltdown's typically are triggered by Thomas thinking "This is just toooooo much for me to handle," and any phycial reaction is directly at Thomas himself. He'll also usually retreat to his "super secret hiding place" which feels safe for him.
This week, I've been punched, kicked, scratched (drew blood. Nails clipped the next day), head butted, even bit. So often, when this happens, my immediate thought is "Did I give him his meds?" Most of the time is yes.
Remember, this is a 4-1/2 year old who has permanent brain damage due to being exposed to alcohol before birth. His 'wiring' is a bit different than typical children his age. Things that work with most other 4 yr olds won't work with Thomas. Even if they DID work once, chances are they won't work again. We're forced to be a little creative in dealing with these things.
No one should be subjected to the physical stuff that parents of children with FAS can be subjected to. Sometimes I feel like I'm passively sitting by, "letting" Thomas abuse me.
The scarey part in all of this is that right now he's 4-1/2 and doing this.
What can we (not just me and Dan..EVERYbody) as a community to help all the Thomas's in the world? What can we do to prevent other parents of going through the same? Simple. TALK about it. It can't be the elephant in the living room any more. "IT" is the consumption of alcohol during pregnancy. It HAS to stop. The children deseve a much simpler life.
*** UPDATE ***
My daughter (T's birth mom) took this post very personally. She wrote in HER blog that same evening:
blah blah blah Current mood: bitchy
this is pretty much gonna be a bitch blog basically. You know people make mistakes alot and then onviously somebody else pays for it. But honestly it's their choice to take on that responsibilty knowing that mistakes were made. So honestly...I HAVE NO SYMPATHY WHEN PEOPLE BITCH ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS WHEN THEY CHOSE THAT LIFE STYLE. No matter what it is....work home, school, getting beat on wahtever. I have problems of my own and I expect NO SYMPATHY from other people.Nough SAID
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